Common Questions

People are funny. Most folks require a certain comfort level to ask certainquestions. But coming out on your blog does encourage those closeacquaintances or friends to ask questions. That’s cool. So here are the mostcommon couple of questions.

By the way, I've noticed including certain words in a blog title, such as big,ass, gay, and party generates an interesting array of visitors to the site.I'm not sure what they are hoping to find :-) but I hope they are not toodisappointed.

Probably the number one question I've been asked over the years is,

When did you know you were gay?

That's a tough question. That's like asking someone when did you know you washeterosexual. Maybe a better way to deal with the question is talk about whendid I know there was a difference in the way I felt toward others and the waymy peers did.

Probably around the same time that others started noticing girls. I can't saythat I first started noticing the boys. What I did notice was how folks weredividing into distinct groups, the cool kids, the not-so-cool kids, the post-puberty kids, those too short, or too tall, and I didn't fit into any of thesedistinct groups.

One of the blog posts trying to respond to that preacher in North Carolina,had a funny and accurate explanation. I'm paraphrasing, but he encouraged anyreaders to think about what sets your private bits tingling. Did you learn todo that? Do your hormones respond because of a lecture you heard, or a bookyou read? Probably not. Silly, right? It is no different for me. We just finddifferent people attractive.

The big challenge is dealing with these feelings alone, in the mid-80’s, inthe mid-west where these sorts of things are just not discussed.

Do you think you was born that way?

Here's a fun video that talks about this question:

Personally, I do. But I also don't think the answer makes any difference oneway or another. Seriously, what does the answer change? Nothing. It onlyserves to lend credence to the folks who think there is a deserved stigma ornegativity associated with being gay.

Anyone who has seen Hedwig knows the 'Origin of Love' song.

The song is based on a story from Plato's Dialogs. Yes, Plato. ThatPlato, the one from 400 BC Athens who penned the words of Socrates. InSymposium, he wrote all these great stories, imagining what the greatest mindsever would say if they got together over dinner and drinks and tried to definelove. When it is Aristophanes turn to talk about love, he spins a creationtale imagining a world of 4 legged creatures, and how the gods split them inhalf. Now these 2 legged creatures wander the earth looking for their otherhalf.

That’s the pain
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart
We called it love.

I like this story. It speaks of the hunger we feel for love and companionship,not just the carnal desire to procreate. And before anyone asks, no I don’tbelieve the story. Don’t be daft. It’s a story folks. Don’t believeeverything you read.

That’s it for the common questions.


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